Panic Vortex

I thought of this story after reading The Yellow Wallpaper and The Tell-Tale Heart.  This is a sampling.

Most people do not understand panic or agoraphobia.  They think sufferers need to just get a grip on their lives, as if there was some magic switch to stop the anxiety, the nervousness, the abnormality.  Get a grip might be a useful euphemism.  It helps to explain the sensation I feel when I try to leave my apartment.  I feel as if I must grip the door handle and not let go or I will be sucked into the vortex that is on the other side.  It’s as if all the evil in the world is on the other side of the door and it wants to suck me into it.  Sometimes, however, I wonder if I am not looking into a carnival funny mirror in the shape of an apartment, and it is reflecting the evil vortex of my house, my life, my well-being.  If I could not only grip but also pull on the door handle, and rip the funny mirror off its hinges, I might well enter the real world and break free from anxiety’s chains.

I haven’t broken free, yet.  Rather, I often find myself in my walk-in closet curled in a ball, bawling and rocking.  This is my life.  I stay here until I can find another door, or window that does not have the hurricane vortex that seeks to sweep me away.  I never know how I crawl out of my closet and escape fear.  It is as if I totally ignore my physicality and operate only in my spirit being.  I somehow end up in my cubicle.  I am somehow end up at the grocery store, or in my car, or at the neighbor’s apartment.  I try to leave myself a mathematical formula: do A and add B; this will get you C, the ability to be in public.  However, I guess I misplace my notepad on a regular basis because I often find myself in the same spot, huddled in my closet.

Adam Johnson's "Hurricanes Anonymous"

Summary: Nonc, a recovering Cajun alcoholic, searches for his son's mother while making Post-Katrina UPS deliveries.

I think the author exposes the reader to his indecisiveness: "Should I cut narrative or expand my story to a full-length novel?"  No, Johnson did not say this but this is my response.  I feel the story-line drags along until the last couple of pages and, then, Johnson hurries the ending as if to be done with a writing that he can't resolve.

Yes, this writing permits a reader to imagine Post-Hurricane Katrina; however, Johnson's realistic narrative clashes with his over-the-top characters who seem to be one of the following: recovering alcoholics praying to God, disabled people caring for someone more disabled than themselves, or con artists sccamming FEMA.